| SEOW LEOW! Signs We’re Going Gila Posted on Monday, March 12, 2007 Topic: We, The Citizens |
 by Kway Png & K.K.Cheow According to the State’s Times, 1 in 4 Singaporean teens and young adults could develop psychological problems and mental diseases like schizophrenia, anxiety, depression, psychosis, personality disorder, paranoia, delusion and hallucinations. 25%! Seow leow! That’s a lot! TalkingCock.com presents a list of signs to help us Singaporeans recognize if we’re going gila: 1. You speak in different accents depending on who you’re talking to 2. You’re always looking over your shoulder whenever you complain about the Gahmen, in case ‘others’ eavesdrop and report you 3. You copy down the license plate numbers of cars involved in accidents because you believe others’ misfortune might bring you good luck 4. Not so long ago, you were even copying down numbers you thought you saw on the bodies of fish 5. You suspect there’s one man controlling your life from behind the scenes 6. You have the inexplicable urge to urinate in lifts 7. Your mind is full of contradictory notions – for example: a. you think people are inconsiderate when they don’t leave their table immediately after eating at the food court but think you have every right to take 25 bites to finish the last red bean in your ice kachang. b. you insist on enrolling your kids in Speech & Drama classes, and then pray they won’t go into the arts when they grow up c. you think that giving the poor a lot more money will discourage hard work, but paying politicians million dollar salaries will not 8. You think food tastes better when eaten by a longkang 9. The stuff you see depicted on local TV doesn’t seem to bear even the slightest resemblance to real life as you recognize it 10. You thought you saw your MP dancing hip-hop recently 11. You’re scared to walk around naked even in your own flat 12. You elected a guy even though he’s rumoured to have slapped someone 13. Why can’t you believe that the reporting in newspapers is unbiased? 14. You lash out with lawsuits even over the slightest criticism 15. You whack people over Hello Kitty 16. You’d rather drink your own pee than pay other people more for water 17. You see Men in White everywhere 18. You still haven’t emigrated Got any more signs? Let us know! |
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3 comments:
Tr. Din, i hope ghazali is not part of the stress u r facing right now.
haha.. no la.. gazali is a darling la.. how can he be a stress?
Of cos, Tr din is not stressed. If and IF Ghazali can blog, then we'll be able to hear some words of stress or even depression. Right Din? Cos he is just so "happy" to be with you ;p
Sharon, anyway this is Yasmin here.
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