Santosh Subramaniam

Santosh Subramanian, a delightful family entertainer. Doesn't waste valuable time in unnecessary fights, punch dialogue and needless sentiments. Introduces the plot immediately and sustains it beautifully through out the movie. Kudos to the director. I must say this is definitely one of Ravi's best movies i ever saw. I loved the background score and Genelia will always be my darling.
This is how far i am going to review the movie simply because i was never really good at writing it.

Here's a micro synopsis:
The film primarily revolves around a father and son relationship with the father's dote on his son ironically leaving a bitter taste with the latter. The son's choices and his wants to achieve something in life are always subdued by his father's. The father has a justification in the form of his dream, that is to build a dream house. When it comes to his son's marriage, the son breaks his shackles of respect only to experience the newly found independence. The film concludes with the father's repentance on his foolishness and the happy marriage of the protagonists.

Somehow this film really appealed to me. Not sure why though. Maybe i was able to relate to some of the key moments depicted in the movie. In an Indian culture, our parents are always in key roles relating to everything. From the mundane to the monumental. Tradition and Respect are not to be trifled with. Its even backed by my religion. To hurt your parents is a downright sin.

My parents always knew whats best for me right from my birth. When young, always knowing what i should wear. What to eat. How to dress. What hairstyle. You name it, they would have done it. Now though i can understand their love, sometimes it becomes overbearing. Yet i can't bring myself to voice it out for the very fundamental reason for their actions is love. I simply accept while eating away at myself from the inside.

When everyone was laughing at the protagonists antics when trying to voice out his displeasure, i was for once, seriously engulfed and i told Mr. Protagonist, " i know how you feel dude". I could sense my family giving me the "whats wrong with you " look.

However, there is one point that really hit me... and i hope it hit my family too. At a particular scene, the protagonist mother would be asking the father, how much he knew about the son. Who the son was at home would not be who he is outside home. Which is really true. I often had arguments with my parents whenever they proclaimed that they knew me like the back of their hands thus they know whats best for my future.. Many times i have found myself at a fix trying to explain this theory to them. They retort by asking me " So you are saying that you are putting up an act at home is it?". How like that. Who i am at home is just a small percentage of who i am overall. So i gladly took the opportunity to nudge my mom and told her " you get what she is saying rite?".

The other similarity between the hero and me is our parents persistence to arrange our marriages. Frankly i am ok with both arranged or loved marriages. Ultimately home holds the highest sanctity for me and i know for sure that a wife out of an arranged marriage would safe guard it. But considering what i might gain in a loved marriage and the points proved through this wonderful entertainer, now i think i mite be more inclined towards marrying a girl whom i love first. ( i can already hear one darling manjan rooting for me ;-)

Its one of those movies that leaves you in a surreal feeling when the credits roll out... Go catch it.

Miracles...

Miracles, they exist. In plain sight.
Miracles, I have come to realise, are a matter of perception. Just like how one would view the concept of luck and coincidence. It materializes to those who believe and remains a mirage to those who are skeptical.

But aren't we all skeptics? Demanding rationale, justification and results as pre-requesites in order to believe... In this day and age, we have to dig deep into our minds crevices just to find faith being subjugated by logic and reasoning. What's the point then? If faith has to be verified, then, it's just a fact.

But i guess God anticipated our curiosity. Which could be why, HE peppered hints to prove the existence of faith and its miracles, yet at the same time made them subtle to protect their sanctity. Simply put, ( I assume) He created one of the biggest conundrums( perspectives) to ensure only true believers are able to bear witness to miracles..
I used Faith and Miracles interchangeably, for both them require the same to condition to exist. You need to believe.

Till recently, my definition of a Miracle had always been the occurence of the impossible. But not any more. Life itself is a miracle. The very breath i draw is a miracle. I met a man who some time back who opened my eyes to a number of miracles. By doing so , he helped me re-affirm my beliefs ( ironically i needed proof to believe as well).

Tahira's Uncle was diagnosed with cancer and it was terminal. He soldiered on against it for a mind blowing 1.5 years. I visited him a number of times.. Each time he taught a lesson. Once when i was sitting next to him thinking how much worse is he going to suffer, as if he read my thought bubble, he gives a smirk and looks to his brother . And as if given a que, his brother tells me the story of Prophet Ayub. A very timely lesson indeed.

On another visit, i was sitting next to him thinking why is he being tested so much considering he is a very pious man. Through him i saw one more of HIS miracles. Through his bed ridden sufferings, he united an entire fueding family and gave each of them a second chance to mend broken fences and make ammends.

Uncle gave a gift to everyone there during his passing. I pray that all of them can see the gift and appreciate it.

After a very long time, I teared. As the first drops rolled down my cheeks, i realised why life was so frail. For if it wasn't, we as human beings, simply would have taken it for granted. The most important lesson came when the tears hit the earth and dried up. Every day we get to live is a miracle. Just like how the tears evaporated, so does the days that were loaned to us by HIM. Make everyday count.

My meetings with Uncle was the biggest miracle in my life yet. Insha Allah, if i get to live long enough, i shall try my best( Insha Allah) to be of some purpose and direction to others (like how Uncle was to me) before my life comes to a close.

Uncle, you will always live on in my heart and iin my prayers. Thank you for opening my eyes.

Proposed running route..

Just...

Time:

It is tough scavenging for time for anything. I am busy, but what am i occupied with? I don't know. Work? Home? Or practicum? Though i found practicum not as intimidating as i thought it would be, I still found myself with a lack of time for my social life and activities. I have incarcerated myself to the confines of my room to an extent my mom feels as if I am a tenant in a sublet room. I must admit i find it funny when she occasionally pops in to ask for rent.

My Life:

Pathetically, it revolves around going to work and coming back home. It is mundane. Really... Except for the occasional runs i have with Ah Bin , Amanda and gang and ..... myself. Apart from desperately trying lose my tummy, I guess it's my way of pacifying myself: that i am active in my social life ( or the lack of). This succinct paragraph bears witness to my exciting life.

My Friends:

Recent developements- I believe that you can never be close friends with colleagues . But Life has a funny way of throwing little surprises. Once in a while you tend to find those really special some ones that you can be absolutely yourself with.... and yeah , you don't mind making sandwiches for them too with egg.. and mayo... and sauce.

The Constants- All of you, even a well developed bond has the propensity to erode, thanks to complacency and lack of intrinsic communication. I guess you all know what i am talking about.

My take :

The HDB flats seem to resemble more of pigeon holes. The MRT has become the icon of a Singaporean lifestyle. The CTE Jam seems like my pay increments. Gmaps just enlightened me to how crowded my country is. I have lost all hopes that i will ever see my CPF money in my lifetime. ( I wont dare to write any further on my takes).

Miracles:

It's everywhere. Miracles occur everywhere and everytime. It just doesn't resemble those that we have in mind. Lately i have been blessed to view some of them in action in real time. But i will blog about it in detail another time. I feel that it deserves more weight than just me superficially pointing at it.

To a beautiful Manjan ( term of endearment that will only be understood by that particular person actually, not a racial slurr):

You are a bloody pain in my ass. If i tell you that i can't run and that i need sleep ... you listen .. Don't argue! Sitting upright and putting a bolster on your face will not get you anywhere. But i must admit. You are one stubborn babe. I actually pity your boyfriend.

To all Aunties and Uncles:

Please.. thank you so much for trying to find me a bride. But really.... Don't you all have anything better to do....

On a random note:

Zayed received the honour of being featured on my 100th post.

You and Me, Zed.

what day is it
and in what month
this clock never seemed so alive
I can't keep up
and I can't back down
I've been losing so much time

cause it's you and me and all of the people
with nothing to do
nothing to lose
and it's you and me and all of the people
and I don't know why
I can't keep my eyes off of you

all of the things that I want to say
just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping inwards
you got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here

cause it's you and me and all of the people
with nothing to do
nothing to prove
and it's you and me and all of the people
and I don't know why
I can't keep my eyes off of you

there's something about you now
I can't quite figure out
everything he does is beautiful
everything he does is right

you and me and all of the people
with nothing to do
nothing to lose
and it's you and me and all of the people
and I don't know why
I can't keep my eyes off of you

you and me and all of the people
with nothing to do
nothing to prove
and it's you and me and all of the people
and I don't know why
I can't keep my eyes off of you

what day is it
and in what month
this clock never seemed so alive

Just you and me, Zed..

Hamster give away

Hey all those hamster lovers out there...check out this link. i am not a hamster lover... but support a fren la....
http://sheylara.com/2008/04/13/sheylara-great-hamster-giveaway

The Forgotten Entry.

The following is an excerpt from a draft left unfinished from April 2005. The original words are those in italics the normal ones are my current thoughts. Just to gauge how far i have come.

Warning: Following entry may contain some strong language which could be an anti-thesis of this normally fun filled and crappy blog. You have been warned.

2005

Friendships that were forged through adolescence and coalesced into a band of brothers through our struggles in hell and high water. Hell and high water, my creed of late. They say that change is the only constant in life. I somehow feel that pain and misery make good company to change as well. Many times i have woken up with anticipation of the next f***ing shit i have to face in the day. Peace of mind is only truly attained when you are six feet underground ( which itself is becoming scarce in Singapore) .
My only reprieve, that i got to spend some time of my still seemingly insignificant existence with you by my side.. My friend.

This is a tribute to all the hard-asses who bruised with me in the name of friendship through all of Life's punishing gauntlets to date. Hard asses whom are warriors in their own rights. Warriors in whom i discovered the arcadia for loyalty.

Is blood really thicker than water? I doubt so. If communication itself is a barrier then where is understanding going to come from? F*** the notions of piety.. When it every man for himself.

This is a tribute to a family that is still in cohesion, despite the storms that at many times, almost blew us apart. To a family that proved in its weird ways that blood is thicker than water through the very fights that threatened its existence. So weird that i still cant find the words to describe it. Yet i am grateful that i had it in my most desperate moments.

What good is a God who can do no good at all? How long more are You going to keep striking me down? What did i do to be put down all the time? Where is the fairness? What kind of a judge are you? Where is the strength that i prayed for? I asked for peace of mind and all you gave were more headaches. I can take no more.. i am falling to my knees.
It's funny.. all i had to do when i was on my knees, was to lean further and i was in the perfect position to pray. Din, you asked for strength and you got it. How else would you be able to survive through all that you did.. How else would you have been able to be a shoulder to cry on despite your own problems. Grow up Din. Grow up. You asked for peace, didn't you get the best sleep in years after slogging for the well being of others? Have faith Din, HE knows what you need and HE has always given it to you in due time. What you don't have now is what you don't need now.


PS:
What were these gauntlets, hell and high water that i am talking about? They are not some scene off the Armageddon movie. They are from our very lives.
The financial crunches. The despair of failing. The burden of responsibilities. The heart breaks. Funerals.The regrets. Flawed expectations. Misunderstandings. Feuds. Pettiness. Feel free to add on.

Jamis Durango 1.0

Nisa: As you requested,these are the pics of my new wife... so wats ur verdict?

It's official. You can trust me to make some of the dumbest mistakes in my life.. shall elaborate to you when we get to catch up.. haha..

Habiba and Me...

A colleague came up to me today. She asked, " Din , what was the car that you used to drive?". A question that brewed an instant storm within me. A question that flicked the spotlight on a memory that had absconded me for quite a number of months now. How easy it is lose ourselves and all those that mattered to us whilst struggling to keep up in this race called life.

Simply put, Habiba( "beloved" in Arabic) was my car....A tiny 1 liter Subaru Justy with a feisty heart of a champion for an engine underneath its hood. A speed demon at 130kph, remains humble and plays it down to 90kph on the speedometer.( Waseem perceived that Habiba's speedometer is impaired while blazing the roads enroute to Senkang on the CTE).

Habiba was more than just a car to me. I bought that Justy from my friend Habib and thus i named it Habiba. Very soon Habiba grew its own character. Our relationship is one that could be understood if you had watched the movie "Herbie".

Habiba entered my life at a very critical stage. A stage where i was defining my own identity. She was my friend who was always with me till i got home, sheltered me from a stormy night, brought me out whenever i had temper tantrums and most importantly she helped me forge and catalyse some friendships that are my pillars of strength till today.

I feel so lost without you. I miss you so much.. yet somehow i feel your presence.. are you in the coke can i am drinking from right now?

So many memories...Mom always sleeping in the back seat during a drive. Tahira's endeavours with Habiba during her convocation. The many nights of ferrying my buddies back to their homes after their late night stints in NUS. The convenience of running at once unreachable locations. Sending Durga back home after long chatting sessions. Chandra driving Habiba around with one eye after a cist removal in NUH . Yasmin Begum scorching her hand when she touched the door handles after Habiba baking in a mid day sun. So much memories that its impossible to list them all.. sigh.. Of course then there is the fetching of my, (then) love of my life to her home from SIM.

The entry of Habiba awarded me with number of "firsts" in my life.
1) The first guy in the family/friends to OWN a car... not borrow his/her parents car and i was only 23. Hell YEAH!
2) The first car itself being a Subaru
3) The first time i brought a girl to view a sunset from kent ridge park
4) The first birthday candles blown on top of Habiba in a remote carpark during my birthday.
I can keep going at it but its just going to get lamer.

The irony is that Habiba died on my birthday. I buried her and used the remains of her PARF value for a cab ride back. A simple question blasted the flood gates on long forgotten memories of a darling that i will never get back. This entry is a tribute to you, Habiba. May you rest in peace in whichever aluminium can you have been recycled into.

Habiba

Biking lessons

Lessons an amateur wannabe biker learns in the first 15 minutes of riding his new bike.

1) Never ride on the road without a bloody helmet ( its like painting a bullseye on your ass for motorists)

2) Don't wear any track pants when cycling ( unless you fancy shredded bottoms)

3) Don't touch the brake disc after getting down from your ride. ( ever heard of friction? )

4) Don't keep grinning when an Ang Moh Biker rides up next to you and gives the thumbs up upon seeing your bike. ( Open your bloody mouth and say thank you.)

5) Somethings cannot be changed. Some dogs can always outrun you no matter what you ride.

Identity ? What Identity?

I have been bugged with this issue for a very long time. Even till now i still can't find the exact words to label it or even describe it. But i am just going to go ahead and blog it in the hopes that some reader out there can help me put my thoughts into words. If they at all comprehend what i am blabbering about in the first place.

We all are living in a multi-cultural society. Bear in mind that the key word is "cultural". Though we all exist as one nation, we too have our own identities. Individual practices and traditions that makes us... us. The recent trend however seems rather scary as all i see in kids across the racial spectrum is westernization ( if there is such a word). Not referring to it in terms of clothing and fashion apparels alone but in the mindset as well. Sorry to sound like a granddad but what happened to family values? teenagers whom i talked to want their own "pad" ( the only pad i knew back then was... nevermind)away from their "old man",when they start working. They want maids. A cheap old folks home for their parents. Lets not proceed further as i feel its not a pretty sight.

However the factor that really astonished me was how detached they really are from the family. There is a clear and evident trend in our youths. Self gratification first then only.... more self gratification. What went wrong? Where did it go wrong?

The degeneration of our cultural and traditional beliefs are the symptoms of negative westernization.

The second sensitive issue is the conflict with religious identities. I am an Indian who has very rich traditional background. I am also a Muslim whose beliefs at times conflicts with the very traditions that makes me Indian. Where do i stand? This is a conundrum that is eating away inside many minds. Then again there is another group. One which is so damn ... nevermind... Its a group that kills traditional practices in the excuses of religious obligations. As i said "excuses". While their motives for abandoning certain practices may seem religiously inclined on the exterior, the truth of the matter is that they want a reason solid enough that the older generation cannot veto as it has a religious backing. Deep down its just westernization.

sigh...

Success or Significance...

Finally. Got a breather. So much has occurred at such blistering pace. Not everything has sunk in yet. Still in a daze, waiting for the dust to settle. So much time has passed so quickly and i feel very detached from the world. A very surreal feeling it is.

Sitting down and reflecting in the cool breeze helped put back some order into my thoughts. So here it goes, the rhetoric express.

Attending a number of funerals and especially that of a friends father, was a speed breaker in my chaotic life. It ends before you know it. No matter how prepared you are for it, you are simply unprepared.. face it.

What have i done ? Spending all my time chasing the Singapore dream of making it big, attaining Certs, brining in extra income and forever in the pursuit of success. Come to think of it i am not so sure anymore. Do i want my life to be defined by my success? or do i want it to be defined by significance?

Success or Significance, a question similar to the previous conundrums of passion or profession.

What defines significance? To me, its the people in my life and life's precious moments. An infant's waking moments are more precious to me than the closing moments of the best deal in office. Time and tide waits for no man. What's your assurance that you will awake the next dawn? Hold your loved ones close and never let them go.

Just unloading some random ramblings.

My bid for society

life's little pleasures.

Simple, unexpected surprises that put a smile on the face.

The Jungle in Concrete Jungle....

Considering the fact that we are living in a garden city, it's very frustrating to grow my plants in the concrete corridors. But it doesn't matter much since i also get my reprive from these plants.. so its a fair trade i guess...

Anyway been waiting to reconstitute my garden to its rightful place in the corridor ever since i moved back to my house.

The only problem is that the plants didn't survive the constant shifting of houses. So i have to start all over again... from scratch. Here it goes.

So far managed to germinate green beans, corriander, chilli , Middle Eastern Dates and tomatoes. Also planted Ginger, Onions, Curry leaves.. and for visual aesthetics, African Violet, Money Plant, Roses and one more flowering plant which i can't remember. Then, there is also Heliconia and Hibiscus...

The starting phase of the garden looked rather pathetic, all i saw was just pots filled with compost and dirt. It feels even more pathetic to water plantless pots. Trust me, the time taken to see the first leaves protrude from the soil can really drive you nuts and at times will make you doubt yourself and even the seeds.. will they ever grow or are they dead?

A good few weeks into the garden and my once barren pots now have small green hair thrusting itself out of the ground. Several weeks later.. things were nicer to look at.. i hope the pics i put up give a better picture.. Any way not planning to type anymore. Too lazy , just gonna line up some pictures of my garden ...

Have fun, have a good holiday, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

When gloss precedes content...

It's an age old issue. Just like expectations it is ubiquitous. Unfortunately it is a mindset that is innate in everyone of us. Only difference is that it varies accordingly to the individuals taste. A condition that has been predominant in every aspect of our lives right from infancy.

The shiniest toys..the nicest looking presents..the sexiest babe... the hunkiest dudes.. the movies with the coolest actor/ress(s)... Everything explores the value of the surface packaging and not of the content inside. Judgements based on looks and nothing else.
The most common aspect that unites everyone is about people and their preset notions of what is beautiful and what is not. From how we want our partners/ spouse to look like to freaking racism. We all fall somewhere in between

The schooling days. From first love to first fight... somehow everything tethered on the packaging. Every guy would have had aspirations as to how he wanted his girlfriend to look like. I wanted mine to be fair ( didn't matter to me that i wasn't), pretty, just nicely tall enough to lean on my shoulders, slender with a lovely smile and smooth straight hair. I know fat hope. Fat it was. As i matured, my ridiculous expectations did as well. I realised that i had been in the foolish conception that fair was beautiful? Who has the right to determine that fair was beautiful? It's just a complexion, just like dark. We are all the same beneath our skin.

Through hard learned lessons, i added depth to my superficial notions of what is pretty and what is not. An angelic smile doesn't necessarily constitue an angel's heart. Neither does a foxy chick constitute to an easy going slut... a very valuable lesson that i paid a fortune to learn. I learnt that content matters more than its gloss.

Been labelled everything from "pariah" to "anjing hitam [black dog in malay]", being a minority was never easy. I am an Indian. I have brown skin, not black you bloody idiots. Even if it was black, i still would be equally proud of it. Nope, my skin does not carry any communicable disease nor does my hands exude black dirt when i touch anything. I have hair on my hands not tentacles that inject AIDS when you accidently rub against me. From being the target during soccer practice to being a moving punching bag.. Why? why this uncivilised notion based on my appearence? How does me being brown threaten their existence? I thought all these stupidity ended as of secondary school. But what happened today in the trains proved to be a gruesome reminder of the filth that still exists in our society.

Give up your seats to the eldery and the needy they say. I gave up mine today to an old woman and i felt like slapping myself for being too helpful. I got up and offered my seat in the crowded train. Reluctantly she proceeded to the seat, took out a tissue paper and started wiping the seat and commented on me to the neighbouring passenger. Then she decided not to take the seat and neither allow her grandson[assumingly] to sit on it and instead puts her bags on the seat.

Another crowded train scene. I was standing by the door.. Cabin was brimming with people, compacted like sardines. A woman and her son jammed in just moments before the door closed. I could already sense that the woman was not comfortable but dimissed it thinking that it could be due to the crowd. What i saw in the reflections on the glass panel literally shocked me. I knew that she was tugging the child towards her but i thought that it was due to her consideration of other people and that she didn't want her son to knock into others. On the reflections, she was signalling her son to be careful not to knock into me and followed it up with commenting by rubbing on the skin and then pinching her nose. Should have seen the shocked look on her face when she realised that i was looking at her. I just saw racism being passed on from one generation to another. I felt a surge of emotions but decided not to do anything especially infront of the child. For whatever i retaliate, it will only be conclusive for the child of the impressions stacked on me by the mother.

In this day and age... where Indian with a Chinese couples are a very common sight, where Malays with Caucasians are an upcoming sight...where cute EurASIAN babies are abound everywhere.... why nurture racism? Like Russel Peters once said... " the world is one day going to be Cream .....". Then why the social demarcations based on the skin?

Of expectations...[ from a socially dependent perspective]

Expectations... it's ubiquitous and exists in myriad forms. It's infused in everyone's lives. Its difficult to acknowledge and impossible to avoid..

I have always encountered a fork in my road to individuality. Often times facing dilemma between being the perfect son /brother/ friend/ colleague and being simply me. I am just exhausted giving so much thought to making decisions from the mundane to the monumental. It is difficult to just be myself when i feel as if every decision i make paves my expressway to perdition.

Just be yourself. Live for yourself. You only have one life. Live happy and die happy[ sounds like a corny Chinese movie] . It's your life. I have had heard enough of these and people's every other twisted rendition of Bon Jovi. To you all out there, cut the crap with me.

I have to a certain extent, managed to live by my own terms and be ignorant of societies expectations. Sadly, you can only paddle so much when you are in choppy waters before simply succumbing to the currents. Funny thing is i tend to rebel again after catching a breather in the name of surrender.

I wanted to play computer games, instead i was expected to build websites. I wanted to pursue College, instead i was expected to pursue Polytechnic. I wanted to parachute off from a plane with my friends, instead i am expected to head on down to the coffeeshop by the rubbishchute with my friends. I wanted to scuba dive, instead i am expected to buy a bath tub and a rubber duckie. The list will go on forever. The irritating thing however is that i will not be denied in my face.. its always a subtle and diplomatic procedure.. Often times the situation is such that i would be the non understanding and selfish party in the negotiations.
" I will not forbid you from jumping off the plane if thats what that matters more to you than us"... How la like this...

Imagine you got an opportunity to do something that you always wanted, and your partner/loved ones is/are like " i dun like it.... if you really want to go then its really up to you". How is one to achieve what he/she sets out to do when he/she does not have the encouragement and blessings of his/her loved ones... Even if i decide to go solo on my mission, the guilt of hurting my loved ones to achieve something that i like, doesn't go easy on me.

I am not saying that my achievements and aspirations are dictated by others around me totally. In fact i can post a longer entry when i view these issues from an individualistic perspective. Neither am i saying that all that i am is what society has made out of me...i am merely saying that expectation is like the wind that acts as the resistance when we are trying to break the land speed record..

Forgive, maybe.. Forget, sorry...

Went to bed with high hopes that i might finally surrender to fatigue and the soporific outcomes of a hearty dinner. Guess i was wrong. Throbbing behind my eyeballs and the relentless tossing and turnings wouldn't let me.. Imprecating my conditions didn't do me any good either. So i did what i always do best...

Decmeber 14.. Memories were flooding back uncontrollably, as vivid as yesterday even a year later..
Forgive and forget they say... when its just easier to hate her..

I will forgive for its only human for him/her to err ... but i will not forget for putting these issues behind me will not protect me from recurrences in the future.

I will forgive to let him/her know that i hold no grudges... but i will not forget for i will make references to this event if the argument calls for it.

Iwill forgive for it is divine .... but i will not forget for i am just a human....

Selfish? Immature? Really? I merely mentioned out what everyone does... even the most noble will practice what i mentioned to a certain degree. I will say that its impossible to forget for we are all experiential learners

How can one forget the day the partner called for a break off... Even if he or she was to come back in all promises and potentials... Whats the guarantee that, that which happened once would not happen again?

How does one forget the day that he or she found out that the spouse was cheating? You may be able to forgive... but will you ever forget?

How does the abused child forget the thrashing he/she got from his/her parents?

How does a rape victim forget the torment she endured? she may be able to forgive but forget? I doubt so.

How does one forget being burned by love for the first time?

Get my drift? So how is it possible to forget? Does simply not mentioning the incident constitute to forgetting? If thats the case, then we are all hypocrites who intend one thing and say something else. Simply put, just think of all the times you got hurt and almost instantaneously you will be able to remember every detail of what happened to you. Now, does the phrase forgive and forget hold any relevance ?

Playlist's Top 6

Found myself relating to these songs, not sure why though. Its a strange and humbling feeling when some weird tune unlocks memories stored away in the deep crevices of your brain. Memories that you never wanted to face again. From nostalgia to nightmares. Whats in the note?

MY Friend(MF) and Me.. [Part 1]

[The following entry comprises of snippets from various conversations with various friends. Conversations that makes me think about the kind of friends i have accumulated over the course of my life.. haha]

[In the bus ]

MF: Din, i just had an enlightenment.
Me: What is it?
MF: (with so much conviction) If pre-marital sex is evil, and evil is sin. Since sin is forgiven , so sex is in....
Me: How did you end up as my friend?


[30 mins after my friend arrived at Earls Swensen]

MF: Shaniz, i have been wanting to tell you something for quite some time now...
Me: What?
MF: Not sure if you noticed it but ever since i met you, i am unable to eat or even drink da......
Me: Why?
MF: I am broke.. so be a darling and foot what i am going to order.


[Near Ngee Ann cafeteria]

MF: ( while taking a puff) It feels so good to drag a puff.. makes me warm inside.
Me: Just get it done quickly , you're not to be smoking here...
MF: Relax will you... I don't even have to run if the warden chases me...
Me: Let's see.
MF: Dei. hold the stick for me while i tie my laces...
(at this point of time, the warden catches me and my friend is no where to be found.)


[while driving my friend to labrador park at 1 am]

Me: Aren't you even a bit scared that i might molest or rape you?
MF: Nah you won't. I trust you.
Me: Are you sure that you know me that well?
MF: It is a feeling..
Me : What feeling?
MF: Gutt feeling...
Me: Can't believe your stomach trusts me more than you do.

Me: Do you find me too pushy...
MF: nope. you are just a washy washy ( or is it wishy wishy? wushy wushy? wishy whushy? swishy sushi? can't remember what she said but apparently it is an accepted term in english.)

[During lunch in Ngee ann poly]
MF: i want to start up a internet porn site.
Me: there are already so much, how are you going to be noticed...
MF: Simple, use an established brand as endoresement.
Me: Which brand.....
MF: Aiyah... StarBucks la....
Me: Huh?
MF: StarBucks already has a seductive female in its logo.. all i have to do i is just change the "B" in starbucks to "F"...
Me:..........

Finisher of 42.195Km

What drives thousands of people to wake up at ungodly hours of the night and scramble down to the Esplanande just to subject themselves to hours of gruelling torture just to cover 42.195km?

A distance at this day and age, too ridiculous to even contemplate and furthermore to cover on foot. Then why? What is the need to pay them 55 dollars to for a placing in this torture? I can't answer that question for there were 40,000 reasons behind the 40,000 participants.. Some ran for the love of running, some for friendship, some to accompany their loved ones and some, just to kill boredom.

I had my own. I have covered half marathons... I needed to know my physiological capabilities and limits. I needed to know that my heart and will is much stronger than my body. I needed to know that i won't quit unnecessarily. I needed to know that i won't be supressed that easily. ... I needed to know that who i am is not confined to being flesh and blood.

Valuable lessons were learnt.

Wheather was merciful, I thank HIM for that. Had a good start and a smooth run till the 27th km. I was happy about running non stop till 27... the longest i ever ran nonstop was 20km. That is when my knee started to cave in. Wanted to continue running but pain was getting sharper. I decided to stop and walk. Contemplated throwing the race but i couldnt. I started something and i wanted to finish it. Badly. Never had so many bad cramps on my muscles before.. I never had a cramp on my toes, i do not even know how to stretch my toes.Can it even be stretched?

The run taught me more than what i had expected. I ran with pride, with my head held high.. Exhaustion taught me to be humble when i could no longer keep upright and i walked with my head towards the ground. I wanted to finish the race in the shortest time possible but the daunting distance taught me patience and perseverance. I learnt the value of sharing for hadn't the stranger shared his power gel with me, i would have struggled on with more pain. I learnt the value of helping when another stranger helped me to stretch my calves. I was taught that a kind word can go a long way ( thanks Anthony for spurring me on). I learnt the value of bond when strangers were encouraging one another to keep at it. The run taught me to focus on the task at hand and not be distracted. Preparing for this run taught me the value of dedication .I learnt that pain is temporary but achievement is forever.

Most importantly i learnt that nothing is possible without HIS blessings.... perfect wheather in the month of December, cool breeze , miraculous sustenance of knees , to put it short and sweet, EVERYTHING.....

Now tell me, wasn't all these worth the meagre 55 that i paid?

Exercise in frustration...

The 70 km/h speed limit on KPE , the ridiculous waiting period for a doctors appointment, the ridiculous paperwork in the name of administration. What do they all have in common?

They are all, as the title suggests, an exercise in frustration. More like a heavy work out i would say. Being patient is one thing, but getting transferred around and referred to countless unrelated workstations seems to do just the otherwise.

The recent addition to this growing list would be the automated telephone answering systems in govt. agencies and some major private companies.

Thank you for calling the (e.g) property tax hot line.[ followed by a re-run of it in Chinese] .Press 1 for english, Press 2 for Chinese. [After pressing 1] For inquiries on property tax press 1, for application for tax exemption, press 2, for updates on revision of taxes press 3, this contiues till 9 i guess. By the time i spent 3 to 4 minutes listening to all the options, i would have forgotten what the first option. After choosing the option that i wanted, i had to enter my IC number before having to choose further sub choices presented to me again by the same computer generated voice. After goin through so many sub levels just to find out that there is no choice that best describes my needs, there comes the final option. To talk with operator , press 0.... Why can't they just give this option earlier? The best part, i have to spend another 5 to 10 minutes listening to horrible MIDI renditions of Tchaikovsky before the operator answers... and all my inquiries gets settled in a min.

15 mins of hanging on the phone for a 1 minute long conversation.

True Drama Mama(s)

I just realised that we Singaporeans severly lack imagination and creativity ... and a bit of culture too..

Not going to talk about anything serious, just that i was watching Sun TV (channel 29) on cable. I was seriously impressed by the amount of research, scriptwriting, casting, graphics effects and editing that goes into their advertisements. It's so damn creative. The ads are actually more entertaining then Captain Vijayakanth's movies. I am just going to tune in to that channel just for its ads. Our local ads are nowhere near in comparison. I dun understand why our local ads could not be of this calibre.. have we become so boring and unimaginative in the process of saving cost and airtime? Even then the duration of airtime of the indian ads isn't that much longer compared to local ads.hmmmmm... i hope we dun lose it in the name of progress, productivity and efficiency.

have fun watchin the followin clips.

Why guys like slimmer girls..... a logical explanation..

Its been long time since i laughed like this.. i found myself rooting for the woman..


WHY MEN PREFER SLIM WIFE??????? - The best bloopers are a click away

The VISA Conundrum

First it was Richard Gere using his VISA to swipe the ass crack of a Rajastani bird seller when trying to impress a girl simply wanting to buy 5 birds for her brothers journey.Now it's the Beijing Olympics.

The VISA ads seem to be sarcasticly ambiguous. Especially when Asian countries are involved. India was portrayed like a third world country desperately in need of the MNC's economic rescue.

In the latest ads by VISA... the one thats being aired with Jackie Chan trying to win a pair of tickets to the Beijing Olympics..there is also some subtle message... i shall point out some key scenes from the ad.. and you try to figure out the meaning.

Jackie purchases a Ping Pong bat.... the bat breaks while a training session and he resorts to using his hand. Next, he purchases a soccer ball... but during training, the ball bursts when he kicks it... Then , he leaps of a spring board during gym training only to be overcast into the window... the list goes on..

Still don't get the moral of the story? Simple! Don't buy things that says.... MADE IN CHINA... Hahaha... In case if VISA, Jackie or any Chinese govt agencies are reading this.. don't sue me... it's just a tongue in cheek humour and i seriously can't afford a legal tussle.

Rhetoric's Wish List

1) Complete the long overdue Documentary on Indian Muslims
2) Complete the Documentary on Special Ed.

doctors on the other side.

Made my occasional visit to my work place last week. As a tour of duty, i started from my class and ended with the OT Rooms. Crapping with the OTs always tends to seize the apprehensions about my job and my seemingly bleak prospects.They give me the "Dun worry, all will be alrite" feel.Anyway, one of them informed me of the contemplations to seek medical treatment in a foreign country ( which by the way is a growing trend now days) and as usual this set me off thinking.

Singapore, a nation with accreditations in medical breakthroughs and R&D. Young, vibrant and on par with first world countries. Yet why do i see more and more people seeking medical attention for their ailments in other countries.... what's lacking here?

A pseudo survey with friends and two coffee(s) later at the coffee shop, i managed to collate their enthusiastic replies.

1) It's too expensive to seek treatment for major illnesses in Singapore. The middle class people seem to be the most affected. Not rich enough to afford the expensive treatments and not poor enough to qualify for any subsidies. This predicament acts as a push factor to fly to developing nations where treatments can be sought for much lower fees thanks to difference in currency.

2) Quite weirdly, some felt that the medical services here are over-rated. Some of my conspiracy theorists buddies felt that for every high-profile medical breakthrough published on national newspapers, there are many screw-ups that are swept under the rugg and kept out of mention.

3) This seems the most logical to me... Red Tape. Our doctors have become intuitive when treating the common colds and knee injuries but they tend to lack confidence and knowledge when they are dealing with potentially fatal illnesses. They want to play safe and follow protocols when diagnosing these illnesses. Though i welcome this move, i just feel that our doctors have become too caught up with procedures and playing safe that they sometimes over look the fact that certain illnesses are time critical.

Classic example would be Cancer. When detected in its earliest stages, can be treated to full recovery. But somehow i just do not understand why the doctors schedule the scans months away... Don't they realize that the waiting period itself is sufficient to mature the cancer? Why does one have to go through so many check ups ( and these are ordinary check ups where the patient is told to wait a few weeks before returning for another check up) before being sent for a scan. Just to be told that he/she has cancer.

But who is really to blame for this ridiculous practice. The doctors? or us, the Singaporeans? Have we become so accustomed to complaining and being picky about even the slightet mistakes that we left the doctors no choice but to follow all these ridiculous procedures.They are human too. They are not born doctors or specialists. If we do not provide the room for them to learn, how are they going to improve?

I feel its a vicious cycle actually but i will elaborate on it in the next entry.. now too tired to continue.

Multimedia Computing... Whats that?

Meetings with Hong Bin always bring unwarrented enlightenment. This time, he chose to shed light on the redundancy of the Diploma that we had slogged to attain in Ngee Ann Polytechnic.

Diploma in Multi-Media Computing...a lodestone to tech savvy teenagers of 1999. A cash cow in the eyes of parents who want their children to hitch a ride on the IT wave at the end of the 20th Century. It's a course that promised a good foundation in multimedia skills and computer programming. Basically I should have been a master of anything that starts with e- .

However, thanks to Ah Bin's wisdom of the second, I just realised how far off target i fell thanks to Multimedia Computing (MMC). Instead of becoming Masters of the trade, we became the Jack of NOT too many trades. Simply put its Chapalang Course. They took a bit of everything and cramped it in. We got quantity but where the hell was the quality?

The irony was that i was getting outdated even as i was progressing to my second year in the course. I studied Flash 3, six months later ALI ( my junior of 1 year) was studying Flash 4. I can't believe that i enrolled into this course to keep up with the times.

Anyway coming back to the point, a pseudo reality check in the hallways of SIM, confirmed that neither Ali, Hong Bin nor myself had pursued a job or further studies in relation to our field of study. Further information came from the Guru of the second (Hong Bin), that more of my classmates were dropping this field as they were squeezed dry but paid peanuts...

It just makes me wonder at times, how many of us really pursue what we had studied. From the housewives with PhD to the Post-Grad Prata Man. Have we hit a saturation point that the degree doesn't count anymore? Are the tongue in cheek jokes of the coffee shop ah pek about requiring a PhD to sweep the roads going to become reality?

Where are we really heading? There is an E-Theory. That the ever growing internet would one day grow so big that everything will crash. I know that my analogy does not make much sense but i just needed to justify my diploma in MMC... anyway yeah, have we pusued the degree so much that we even require it do a physically skilled job?

When the courses provided doesn't meet the market expectations, it becomes a disillusionment to the students who fork out ridiculous amounts of cash to study it.
I fear that education has become too commercialised and true knowledge has become buried deep beneath wads of cash and cheques. How ah, like that?

when the dot matters.... really!

Fasting for some reason hasn't been easy on me this time round. I feel alot more tired and lethargic compared to the previous years. Maybe its due to my extra active life style of the past few months.

Anyway, recently, just returned home after breaking fast at a fast food restaurant. Realizing that there was no one at home ( all went terawih prayers), i decided to sit back and relax. I quickly freshened up, poured myself a cup of tea and heated up some left over samosas. Thought of watching tv but a cd labelled " AR Rahman" caught my attention. It's been quite a long while since i last listened to AR Rahman music. (AR Rahman is a genius composer who created most of my fav songs). So i loaded the disc into the high fi system then, i set the ambience. I dimmed the lights, set the fan on me and tiredly slouched back into my couch. My player has this tendency to play all songs very softly, so to counter it i would normally crank up the volume really high. Placed my feet on the coffee table with my tea in one hand, a plate of samosa on my tummy ( i am slouching you see) and the hi fi remote in the other hand.
I pressed play. threw the remote onto the other couch adjacent to me and picked up a samosa.

A good few seconds passed and i was beginning to wonder why the song hasn't begun... and then the speakers screamed/blasted out " BISMILLAHIRRAHMANIRRAHEEEEEM!!!".

I was drenched in tea, the sofa was stained with the oil from the samosa, the plate was in pieces. I was clambering over the couch to get the remote and shut my damn hi fi off. Once the hi fi was off, i just had to sit down and catch my thoughts..and my breath. I took out the disc to see what went wrong, and there it was. It wasn't a comiplation of A.R. Rahman but its a compilation of the Surrah AR RAHMAN ( a chapter of the Qur'an). I didn't know a small dot can cause me a heart attack.

I spent a good 45 min cleaning up after that... by then the entire gang had returned. hmmmmm.

just the way i like it....

The pictures from the birthday.. tot of posting another one of my thoughts.. but i realised i have gotten a tad too serious recently.. so am just gonna hang loose and relax on this one. Enjoy the pics....


thanks guys for making it happen... really loved the simplicity of it all...

Mocha Frap... and the Cafeterian Muslim.

Each sip was cooling every inch of my parched throat. The fluffy sofas were very much appreciated after a long day of an uneventful shopping spree. Stretching backwards and hearing the cracks coming off my back was damn shiok man. I just love the lounge setting and the ambience of Starbucks at The Cathay. It has been a very long time since i last came here. Too long.

I always go up to the counter to choose on a drink..and i will be going like "hmm, this...nope... hmmm ...that... nah... its ok...." and finally i would settle upon a choice which happened to be the same one i had made the many times i had visited Starbucks before.

The Mocha Frappucino - A delightfully sweet and creamy combination of coffee, milk and chocolate, blended with ice, topped with whipped cream.

It was while waiting for my coffee to be served that my mind started wondering off... You see, there was this short queue at the collection point. Before me was a an indian muslim guy(i know he is indian muslim from an earlier incident) and his malay girlfriend who was very provocatively dressed.. To be honest, she did look quite hot, and she can easily tugg at one's primal instincts. It didn't help at all when that they were smooching either. I was growing very uncomfortable and all i wanted to do was just take my drink and proceed back to my seat.

My seat, gave me a panoptic view of the coffee house, and i was able to observe everyone seated there. Sipping on my frap, i noticed another muslim (enough of this Indian or Malay segregation) couple. Girl was very tudung and the works, guy was very decent looking. All seemed ok except that they seem to be glued to each other.. The guys hand was over her shoulder and stroking her side. All these kicked off my analytical train of thoughts.

What was wrong with the picture that i just saw? Hmm they were Muslims and they all had broken some code of conduct according to Islamic laws. It's only when i was desperately trying to make sense of what i saw, the cafe's menu board came into perspective. Earlier i walked over to the menu board, of everything that was provided, i selected what i wanted/ preferred and simply gave a blind eye to the rest. To options that i could have alternatively taken, i came up with some "nope and Nah's"...

Likewise , of the doctrine that Islam has illustrated to us. Absorb and practice only those particular laws that seem feasible and doesn't conflict with our interest... the rest, just simply overlook. Or when confronted come up with some theories.."I only kiss only wat.. not having his baby or anythin rite" , " I am going to marry her wat so wat if she is pregnant now??" , " Does it mean i am a bad muslim if i wear fashionable clothes? its the intention that counts wat..." etc etc etc. There is a myriad of explanations for being very cafeterian about Islam ..

As a guy born into a modernistic Singapore, i can truly accept the provocatively dressed gal or the touchy couple...But when comparing and contrasting it with the Syariah, i am really at a loss for words..
1) Simply because the Quranic text still holds its relevance to the current date.. and not even a single word has been changed in all its existence.
2) I myself belong to the cafeterian muslim, simple example.. i am to be covered from the navel to knee at least (aurat) , and yet i only wear a singlet and a running shorts when i go for my routine run... my rationale being... the comfort and etc...there are alot more flaws that i can tell about myself ... but i rather you relfect upon your own...

I realize that there are 3 types of people.
1) there are those who do not know and do nothing about it.
2) there are those who know and did something about it
3) there are those who know and did nothing about it.

Which one are you? guess everyone have their own demons to fight.

Happy National Day ... and some random thoughts.

*disclaimer : ideas, statements, suggestions and comments made in the following post are purely the personal opinions of the author. no disrespect is intended towards anyone. I love my Singapore!

Happy National Day!!!! Everyone! A toast to everything we have endured so far and for everything else we are going to endure together as fellow Singaporeans.


Its nice be a student once again. Having fun doing tutorials ( yes i know it sounds weird) and discussion forums. Planning to make the most of it since its only going to last me a few months.


Quite weird to note how everyone is so anxious to see me get married off. Am i such a threat to your daughters, girlfriends and sisters? Even the "Qadi" is advocating me.


The "in" words around me lately are 5rm valuation, HDB Grants, Housing loans and CPF deductions.

and last but not least is it me or is it that this years NDP Logo looks like as if "someone" is pointing the middle finger at me.haha .. take a look for yourself.

The Occasional truths in email FWDs

Let's face it, we all get e-mail FWDs with loads of general philosophies, half-truths and whole lies. The advice ranges from personal reflections to public propoganda.

The truth is , i never really paid any attention or gave two hoots about these mails. In fact i deleted mails which arrive in my inbox with subjects starting with a FWD.

Anyway getting to the point. Recently managed to catch up with an old polymate. He is also one who practices the art of deleting FWDs without even reaching the half way mark (sometimes we don't even bother opening the FWDs.). While gorging down our burgers at BK(PS),as a topic opener , i asked him regarding one of his MSN nicknames... which went something like "Don't make someone a priority in your life, when you are just an option in theirs". He simply laughed and said that phrase was from a FWD, i should have known from it's corniness. Then he went on to elaborate about the experiences he had with a particular girl, from the chase to courtship to condemnation. Really felt sad for him for i totally understood his predicament( giving a zen look haha).. We were silent for a few minutes then it kind of hit us, that phrase makes absolute sense.
To ensure trust, i disclosed some recent updates from my life... and the best part was that we were laughing at ourselves for the idiots we have been. It is kind of funny that it doesn't hurt like it used to a few years back. Maybe i have gotten numb or maybe i am just growing out of my foolishness. I mean, what was i thinking? Subjecting my/our lives to a monocracy by the girl for whom we would have laid down almost anything for, when all i am , is just another option in her relentless pursuit for her ideal man .

It seems that a lot of people had advised my friend that he needs to win her heart by showing or treating her differently from what normal friends might do. In other words, show her what he can offer so that she can choose him over the others. Logic seems pretty ok till you take a back seat and see the full picture. I simply told him to forget it... It seems that she said to him "i don't know" when he proposed, so i just asked him to listen to the inner meaning of the last word..."NO".

Just out of curiosity, when did courtship become so commercialised , " invest my money in the bank that gives me the most returns". What happend to the intrinsic value of courting. Hmm..would a girl like to be subjected to this kind of treatment , being asked to prove what she can offer before the guy decides to say a yes or a no? where is the respect for the girl? like wise for the male counterparts.

Again the funny thing was that we were having very serious conversations with plenty of sudden hilaraious outbursts, laughing at ourselves. Guess that was our way of dealing with it.
Time came for us to part ways. We gave each other the "brother brother" handshake topped up with a closed fist bang to our chests and a peace sign before boarding seperate trains.....yeah rite.

A humble request to my friends

Guys
1) Don't think too much, just ask and find out
2) Don't make the girl a priority in your life till you know that you are one in her life( if you do, you might tend to lose the ones who always had been there for you.)
3) Be straight forward about what you expect

Girls
1) Please, respect the fact that the guy worked up the courage to propose, and give him a yes or no answer. (saying "i don't know, puts the guy in a flux, to pursue or not to pursue?)
2) Just say what you feel as it is.. don't worry about hurting the guy.

Ps: i am not trying to be a love doctor here. just wanted to share my opinions on this matter.

The vanishing Saturdays...

All week, after eagerly waiting for saturday, it feels rather disappointing that saturdays couldn't stay longer. I feel cheated.. All i did was to go for hike at 9 am, complete it at 3 pm. then i went for the national day preview from which i came back only a while ago and thats it. My day is over. Saturday has just gone by.

On the other hand , the hike was very good. Covered quite a substanstial distance. From Bt.Timah to Macritchie, though the sign board states the distance apart as 10.9 Km , we know for sure that we covered a whole lot more with all that detours and "bashes" through the vegetation and yes of course the golf course visits, the Long Kang explorations and a myriad of monkey businesses. Good company and lots of goofing around made it all the more worthwhile sacrificing my sleep on a sat mornin.

As for the NDP Preview, to be honest, the only segments that captured my attention and admiration was the display of the latest additions to the uniformed groups arsenal and of course the fireworks. It always had my admiration coz i simply had to admire the fact that people who are particular about donating a few cents to a charity organisation, seem to clap and cheer out aloud when they tax money is being blown into oblivion from the tops buildings and barages...hmmmm...

Anyway getting tired.. shall continue tomorrow.

It's been some time...

I can give a myriad of reasons justifying my absence in the past few weeks...but i'll give it a pass.

Alot of things seem different now.. Profession, family, friends, myself. There is some element in all of these factors that seem rather peculiar in the recent times. Not really sure where or to what the changes are gonna lead to.. but i shall let time reveal it to me. i realize that i have begun to stop expecting anything out of (almost) anyone... and a wise friend told me that its not a good sign and i said [ in an indianised Al-Pacino accent] " Good or bad depends on the perspective of the subject in question" hopefully he understood what i said.. Heck, i dun't.

Anyway, on the other hand , my then favourite past times seemed to have gotten a revival.. am just glad that i could maintain the consistency and ya thanks to Arshad of course... always picking me up at every Sat,8am for our 10 - 12 Km run.
I couldn't believe the shape i was in when i first started.. 10KM in 1 hr 20 mins with alot of walkin in between. Then it progressed to 1hr non-stop and today it was 47 mins.. Kayaking completed the over all body work out.. feels really shiok to sweat like niagra falls.

Only regret i have is not attaining proper training when i was younger.. i could have avoided alot of knee problems i am facing now... guess its better late then never... SC Marathon... here i come. INSHA ALLAH.

just for fun.....

Not into believing that my birthday determines my character... but when a friend of mine forwarded me a page about my star sign... i couldn't help but to sit back and laugh in cynicism as well as continue reading in disbelief at the accuracy of *some points mentioned.. i wonder who writes about all these stuff...

Virgo

Your element: Earth [ i figured ]
Your ruling planets: Mercury [ i rule mercury?]
Symbol: The Virgin [ No!!!! i don't want to be one all my life]
Your stone: Sapphire [ So i can just walk into a jewellery shop demand all the saphires?]
Life Pursuit: To do the right thing [ If i had any clue about it]
Vibration: Compassionate and caring [ my vibration is compassionate and caring? what am i vibrating?]
Virgo's Secret Desire: To love and be loved in return [ YES!!! and finally my symbol can finally change!]

Description:
Virgos are often put down badly by many astrologers and written up as being fussy and narrow-minded. But when a Virgo shines, there is practically no sign to match their inner light. An in-tune Virgo is a treat to meet. When a Virgo is confident within themselves they are the most successful, structured and creative of all the signs.

Many Virgos can be found working in the "service to others" industries, ranging from welfare work, doctors, school-teachers through to practising natural forms of healing like massage, herbal remedies etc. One of the most magical characteristics of the Virgo is no matter how many times life or romance turns sour on them, they still manage to maintain faith in others, refusing to become cynical. There is ingenuity around this sign, a kind-heartedness, which unfortunately is sometimes played upon by others for their advantage. Virgos can often become victims of relationship power-games, where they are mistreated.

Creative and sensitive, Virgos are delicate people who, like rare and special orchids, require individual treatment to fully blossom into their true unique beauty. Shy, they are happy to allow others to take centre-stage and often generate their time and energy into making those they love happy or successful.

Virgos are givers and when the chips are down and you need a friend, the one available during those testing times when you need advice or companionship the most, is likely to be a Virgo. Virgos understand human frailties better than most, because they are so deep and reflective themselves. With a Virgo in your life you have someone who understands and cares and any romance or friendship based upon these qualities is certain to be mutually rewarding.

taken from : http://www.psychicguild.com/horoscopes_zodiac.php

The world pushed me to my knees....and i realize that i am in the perfect position to... pray

Never had i been stretched to my limits like this before..
So much turmoils, so much problems, legal issues and so much reflections.
the mountain told me that i can conquer if i just focus.
the heartless relatives of the deceased man told me what kind of a muslim i should live as.
the last minute doubts of the bride told me what i should look for in a partner
the legal tussles told me to be clear and concise of what i expect
the house shiftings told me to brace up for changes..

and just when i thought i can't take anymore and fell to my knees...
i realized all i had left to do is just lean further and submit..

Don't tell me that you are incapable of lighting even a single candle...

highest point in my life...13, 500 feet

It's funny.. I wanted to document every little emotion i experienced when i ascended the mountain but i simply can't. I wrote a few drafts of this posts and as i read it , i realised that no matter how descriptively i wrote or how simply i put my thoughts across...it just doesn't cut it. Neither can i describe the view up there, not even pictures can depict the tear jerking sights that i saw up at 13,500 feet. Everything is out of this dimension, the geography, climate, flora and fauna.. everything.

I fully stand by the saying that the journey is just as important as the destination.
It exposed me to a very long overdue metamorphosis. It was a test of everything. Strength, stamina, will power, spirit, mental fortitude and of course team bonding. I am going to keep this entry short for no amount of words could express fully what i saw and experienced by God's creation.

I learnt who i am and what i am capable of , how far i can go even when my physical being has given up on me. My capabilities and capacity had been stretched to non-existence. But the most valuable lessons i learnt were of Allah S.W.T's mysterious ways of working.. It was just like fasting but on a more short and intensive scale. Just like fasting , the ascend purged me of my bodily capabilities.. Never been this exhausted in my life and my limbs never this rebellious. Its only at the point where my body "died", my mind took over. i had never been this focused in my entire life before. Never this iron willed. I never knew where i got the pockets of strength and energy to take the next step. It simply baffled me.. and then it hit me.... Not everything conforms to logic and reasoning. There are things beyond what we can comprehend.

I urge who so ever be reading this. Go climb a mountain.. know more about yourself.
I also would like to take this opportunity to say a few words to my team..

Julie - never knew a person can have as much energy as you. You were the teams jukebox running on energizer.Glad to have met you on this trip

Izat - we never really had the opportunity to get that closely considering that were seperated during our ascend. thanks for the chocolates and raisins which kept me going. Loved going overboard with you on the raft.

Rauff- Bro, thanks for the water you shared with me at the timely moment near low's peak. if not for that, i dun think i would have reached the summit.

Faizul - Bro, think your ass is still imprinted on my shoulder haha.. nice bonding with you over the ascend and i am seriously impressed by your will power despite your screwed up knee.

Nisa - the babe with the smile that warms me up even at 13,500 ft. Glad to have had you by my side along the route, and really babe, thanks for making this trip happen. You opened me up to wider horizons.

points to ponder on....

It's said that it is impossible to fathom all in the universe. These are just 10 of the many questions in my universe.

1) If i wrote a book about failures and it doesn't sell in the local book stores.... is it a success?

2) Why do i get darker when i am in the sun, but my hair seems to be getting lighter?

3) If con is the opposite of pro, is congress the opposite of progress?( overheard a bunch of guys trying to impress a girl in the bus)

4) Who the first first person was to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

5) Why people say they "slept like a baby", when babies normally wake up every two hours? (readers digest)

6) Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but has to check when you say the paint is wet?

7) Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons? (gotta give it to Brian for his astute observations)

8) If there is such a thing as love at first sight.... why do they say that love is blind?

9) Why do we keep pushing the elevator/traffic light button faster? Does pushing the buttons make it arrive faster?

[My all time favourite]

10) Why do the girlfriends bite their boyfriends? for no rhyme or reason... i am serious... just ask yourself this question if you are the girlfriend.. have you bitten your boyfriend?... and if you are the guy.. ask yourself.. were you ever bitten by your girlfriend who claimed that she bit you coz she had nothing to do?