The USRAEL and the United Spectators.

Was channel surfing at about close to 5 am when i saw the breaking news. Israeli troops enter the Gaza Strip after a week long air raid. What is the need for a ground invasion when everything is pretty much leveled out in the coastal strip that measures 41km long by 6km wide.

The entire "occupation" stinks of contradiction. What is the objective of it. Israel claims that its not in its intention to re-occupy Gaza, while it is pushing its forces in through at least four different entry points into the strip.. BBC reports that Israel just wants to take control of the Hamaz controlled facilities from which rockets are fired. Which pretty much sums up to the entire strip and in even simpler words, its an occupation... no less. What happens after they capture Gaza...How long are they going to hold it in capture? Do they honestly think that the Gazans are going to take the Israeli restructuring hands down?

[Excerpt from BBC]
(In a pre-recorded statement broadcast on al-Jazeera TV, Damascus-based Khaled Meshaal, said Israel would be making a "foolish mistake" if it sent tanks into Gaza.

"We will not break, we will not surrender or give in to your conditions," Mr Meshaal said in a speech aimed at the Israelis, the Palestinians and the wider Muslim world.)

To be honest, i really do agree with him. The people of Gaza are not like the 3rd generation of some developed country in which everything is taken for granted. All the average Gazan has seen in his life is conflicts, bullets, bloodshed and loss of loved ones. Martyrdom is an ultimate prestige. There is no way they are going to take the invasion. They'd rather die.

The only thing that is gained from a war is actually the loss of humanity.

There is a humanitarian crisis going on where over 75 % of the Gazans are unable to support themselves. Israel controls all that goes into Gaza.. including the entries of international journalists, food and medical aid ( if they are allowing anything in at all.)

There has to be a better way to resolve this issue... too many civilians have already lost their lives. Where are the foreign powers when you actually need one... hmmm lets see...

Bush says the Hamaz instigated the occupation. Why does he sound like an immature teenager who plays "who punches first". To think that i almost felt sorry for him for a shoe being thrown at hime... now i wish that the shoes had wacked him. What's worse is that he actually encouraged Israel to step up actions to ensure that Hamas breaks.. Why bush... sore that Obama took your seat? Is this a form of low-elbowing to Obamas ribs? To ensure that he takes over a nightmare?

Next comes the UN... United Nations. I wish that they would be renamed as the United Spectators. Why is that they don't flex their muscle when USRAEL fails to convene to their strong warnings.. Israel totally neglected its warnings when it decided to invade Gaza.. why is nothing being done. By the time the UN comes to a decision from all its meetings... there won't be much of Gaza left to make any difference...

Live.... and let live...

Life is a beautiful gift. It unfolds delicately with every decision we make. Every decision, has its consequences which in turn will affect the individual and his/her surrounding. What we make of it is up to us.. Ok.. enough of all these long and grossly over-used cliches. There is going to be nothing nice about this entry.

I have always considered myself as a relatively good friend to all my friends out there. I also believe that i have practiced enduring patience when times called for it. And there are probably a few more nice things that i can safely say about myself. Chief amongst which is ...me understanding all the shit that i get for things that i didn't commit. But nevermind, I understand.

I know that Life is unfair and sometimes there is really nothing we can do about it except embrace it. Sometimes we all have to vent out that built up steam inside. Frankly i don't mind being the punching bag. But everything has its breaking limits... Even a punching bag breaks to wear and tear.

I know that Life deals us painful lessons that makes us shudder in fear when we have to move on. But being the victim indefinitely is not an option either. Being shackled to our pasts only cripples our future. Being sore about it doesn't solve anything. And ya.. don't take it out on me for now, i am a broken punching bag.

I know that in Life certain things , despite being so close, will slip right through your fingers.. So don't close your fist and start punching this punching bag for your missed possibilities.

I know that Life is like a tour of duty. Everyone switches roles after a short while. Why is it that you always want to play the emo boxer? Life's like a box of chocolates... try everyone of them...

Lastly , why is it that a hundred good things that i did can simply be overlooked when i slipped up once. Why can't I be cut the slack when so many others got it before me?

Sigh.. this has got to change.. and they will.
Live and Let Live.

Seven Pounds....My two ounces worth

Once in a while, comes along a movie that bludgeons your conscience into some serious self-questioning. A movie that questions your sense of morality and sincerity. One that explores the extent of which one is willing to go, to seek repentance. Where sorry is portrayed as anything but a simple word.

Seven Pounds. Its an extremely simple movie(really, its like reading "who moved my cheese") which injects a potent shock to a dulled out and routined (there is no such word i know, but you get what i mean) existence. To be honest, I really do not know what exactly or rather how exactly i feel about this movie. I need time for the full essence of the movie to sink in. All the movies that i needed time to ingest ended up disturbing me quite badly. I guess Seven Pounds is heading in that same direction.

The movie can summarised in two questions.

To which extent will you go to repent?
Is there any purpose to your life ?......besides merely existing to get the degree, the dream job, the dream girl, the HDB flat, the car, the vacation ......the lifelong membership with CPF......you know what i mean....

2009

..Sigh....Happy New Year. Thats about all the enthusiasm i can muster up for 2009.

Gran Turismo...Mountain Biko...

Somehow, after all the meandering in my plans and my routes since 6 am this morning, Ieventually managed to get to the Kent Ridge Bike Trails... and with good company too, Yusuf, a proud owner of an already scratched up brand new GT Avalanche 3.0.

It was all great fun. From deviating at Pasir Panjang at 6.30 am to meet up with Yusuf at Botanic Gardens for Mutton Murtabak ...to proceeding to Kent Ridge Trails and getting our amateur tail feathers plucked. Then, finally, after lunch, cycling all the way to Chin Swee Road to view helmets and to change my tire. Simply a superb workout that was capped with an uphill peddle to the top of Mt. Faber.

Kent Ridge is a damn cool trail albeit very technical ( ... and i mean very technical) . All that skidding, falling, banging against trees and pathetic pushing of bikes up slopes affirmed our novice skill level. I have acquired some cool scratches on my leg though it can't be seen as it is covered with all the hair on my leg and some cool bruises on my back as well. My Jamis acquired some scratches and its rear tire had to go. Got it a new Maxxis Cross Mark Tire as a present for handling so well despite my inexperience on the trails and more importantly on the bike itself.

So ya, thats about wraps up my eventful day today... and Yeah!!! NISA... you are not the only one who can put up pictures from your trail rides ok! Here is our pics... hahahah

It's the freaking wasted holidays.

It's sad that the holidays this year were a total waste. A sad waste. A very sad waste. I think I've had enough. Now back to work...

We're all meant to live for so much more...

"Meant To Live"

Fumbling his confidence
And wondering why the world has passed him by
Hoping that he's bent for more than arguments
And failed attempts to fly, fly

[Chorus]
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside
Somewhere we live inside
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside

Dreaming about Providence
And whether mice or men have second tries
Maybe we've been livin with our eyes half open
Maybe we're bent and broken, broken

[Chorus]

We want more than this world's got to offer
We want more than this world's got to offer
We want more than the wars of our fathers
And everything inside screams for second life, yeah

We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
We were meant to live
We were meant to live

Long time no see...

It's been almost 2 months since my last post. I am at a point where i am not so sure what i want to address in my blog anymore.. part of me wants to streamline the events of this blog to serious issues in life... while the other part is like struggling to break away from being too serious.. Like a conflict of interest.

Anyway, time has become such a valued commodity to me nowdays that when i finally have it, i spend a good portion of it trying to prioritise how i want to spend it. At the end of it i feel so short changed. There has been a very drastic change in me ever since i began my studies. I am spending longer hours away from friends and family. I tried assuring myself that its all a small sacrifice for the degree that i have been longing for and after it's accomplished i can go back to my usual lifestyle. Well this is where i feel i am taking things for granted. There is no guarantee that things will reamin the same way you left it... Constant communication is paramount.

On a lighter note... i called up an old camp mate of mine. The following is our conversation.
Din (which is me): [waiting for James to pick up the phone].......Then he picks up...
Din: James.....Din here.... how've you been?
James: Who?
[there is some interruption from static so i repeated]
Din: JAMES!!!!!!! DIN !!!!! here la...
James: Ya right ! then i am JAMES!!!! BOND!!!!!
Din: Dei M*****, its me Din la....
James: Oh sorry dude.. hahah.. i tot u were one of those annoying prankster cousins of mine..
[ the story goes on and mindless and fruitless conversations follow which i am going to spare you from]

My Darling for sale.... Jamis Durango.

AVID BB7 disc brakes and 24 speed Shimano gearing give the Durango 1.0 a solid performance footing and plenty of potential for skills growth, but at a price that lets you hit the trail without stripping your finances. Same ultra-refined Jamis geometry and frame as the rest of the Durango line, and the handling manners that go with them. Identical wheels and tires with the Durango 3.0 give you plenty of traction over challenging terrain, so you can ride with confidence and make the most of the Durango’s impeccable climbing and handling.

I invested in total 800 plus bucks on this bike.. and its only 6 mths old and its virtually scratchless. Plus i just recently upgraded the brakes to SRAM AVID BB7 and Shimano cranks. Planning to sell off this bike as i want to try other types of bikes...

ASKING PRICE: $650.00 ( Negotiable)

SPECS
Sizes	19"
Colors	Ano Silver

Frame & Fork
Frame Construction	TIG-welded
Frame Tubing Material	7005 aluminum
Fork Brand & Model	SR Suntour XCM, 100mm travel
Fork Material	Aluminum/steel, single crown
Rear Shock	Not applicable

Components
Component Group	Mountain Mix
Brakeset	AVID BB7 brakes
Shift Levers	Shimano ST-EF29 EZ Fire STI
Front Derailleur	Shimano Acera, top-pull/clamp-on 31.8mm
Rear Derailleur	Shimano Alivio
Crankset	Truvativ Isoflow, 22/32/44 teeth
Pedals	Aluminum cage w/clips & straps
Bottom Bracket	Truvativ Power Spline
BB Shell Width	Unspecified
Rear Cogs	8-speed, 11 - 32 teeth
Chain	KMC IG-31, 1/2 x 3/32"
Seatpost	Aluminum micro-adjust, 27.2mm diameter
Saddle	WTB Speed V Sport SE
Handlebar	Aluminum MTB
Handlebar Extensions	Unspecified
Handlebar Stem	Jamis Alloy Threadless
Headset	1 1/8" threadless Tange TG-4

Wheels
Hubs	Formula disc
Rims	WTB SpeedDisc, 32-hole
Tires	26 x 2.00" Hutchinson Scorpion
Spoke Brand	Stainless steel, 14ga. (2.0mm) straight gauge
Spoke Nipples	Unspecified

Uniquely Singapore...

Having almost everything imported [including ideas, events and structures], I have always wondered what was soooooo unique about Singapore. The Casino, London Eye.... oops i meant the Singapore Flyer and the F1 races. You get the drift [no pun intended].

So, i voiced out my question to a friend [ think Uniquely Singapore...] after the usual Carribbean swim. He was quiet but only for a few seconds... then in his sporadic moments of patriotism, gave me a reply which dumbfounded me...really!

Me : "Mike, what the hell is so unique about Singapore mike? Why are we always copying ideas from abroad. When is the world going to copy us for a change? I mean, come on mike, F1? Why not import Cricket World Cup?

[ after moments of silence ]

Him: "Mike!! What the hell are you talking mike! Look at that tiny land ( pointing to the strip of land where now Meryll Lynch stands)... Did you ever believe that a tall building can be erected amidst all these over crowded buildings?! BUT WE DID mike!!! thats uniquely Singapore!"

Him: "Mike!! Look at that Flyover mike, did you ever think it was possible to build such a huge flyover over an already existing and busy road?! Did you mike? BUT WE DID , thats uniquely Singapore Mike! How can you ask such a question mike!?

Me: I felt like singing Majulah Singapura at that moment..

Of -isis and -fications

Lessons are going good so far. Must hand it to the lecturer. Good articulation, witty humour and excellent content knowledge.

On the other hand, Anatomy class feels as if i am learning French. Still getting used to keeping company with skeletons and this huge chart with names of every muscle and bone and yeah, ligaments as well. Everything ends with and -isis or a -fication. So its only natural when the lecturer asked me, "what happens when calcium builds up on your heels?" and i so intellectually scream out CALIFORNICATION!!!

.......

Of... M.I.A and New beginnings

Work really caught up with me. Can't believe that the final term could herald in so much paperwork , undue stress and so much commitments. New team members are not really making things any easier as well. I hate it when specialization affects team dynamics and suddenly everything falls into a top down approach. Well fasting month is over, so its about time people get put into their places.

On the other hand, i have embarked on a new phase of life. Not marriage though... its the workdent[ working student ] phase( not sure if such a term exists or not but what the heck..). I have finally jumped into the ocean, lets hope i float.

The Matrix

Welcome to the Matrix.....
I am the human battery...
I don't care who you are, just plug yourself into the system.

The system is very safe, peaceful and stable and it takes care of our basic needs.
All you have to do is work the daylights off and sometimes some moonlight as well.
And for whatever leftover moonlight, retreat into the pigeon holes and recharge.
Set aside some earnings so that you never see or touch it again.
When you are in your 30's reproduce to stalk up on future battery supply.

Welcome to the Matrix....
I wish was Neo.

To: Dear God

Allah, I know not what is right and what is wrong.
For i am nothing but a puny human being.
I am neither wise nor strong,
and I am at a crossroad into which I wandered without seeing.

I have lost much sleep,
thinking and re-thinking...
of the repercussions should I fail, that's mine to keep.

I know now that tomorrow is not mine to control.
That its destiny ordained by you,
And in due time, it will unroll.

Forgive me for all that I have taken for granted.
My Family, friends and many more whom are unstated.
For when I was engulfed in my darkness,
You sent me rays of hope through their kindness.

Allah, I know not what is right or what is wrong.
And I have decided to go ahead with my degree.
Please be my guide and be my strength...
For none is beyond your decree.

Bless me in my attempt and should I fail,
give me strength to bear repercussions flail.

Please be my strength and my guide for i am neither wise nor strong,
and i know not what is right and what is wrong.

Yours sincerely and desperately,
Mohidin Shaniz Malik S/O Sajakan M. M. Musthafa

There is no Grey...today

Faith:

Is it strict adherence to a doctrine that is yet to be understood by the common man? Or is it the assimilation of HIS commands in true acceptance?

Family:

Is it subjugation, with Sentiments as its judge and jury? Or is it voluntary sacrifice, to endorse a smile that is not your own?

Friends:

Are they merely pit stops in the race called life? Or are they the stop to all the pits in the race called life?

When applause is due...

I am really not the arty farty kind. Neither am I the culture vulture sort who speaks with a strong and often phony accent. I don't fancy artistic past times such as theatre or musicals. Whatever play that I have attended, I did so in my bermudas and not in some suit. There was always a possibility of being denied access for under dressing, but what is life without uncertainties.. haha.

Anyway yeah, I happened to be at one of the most unlikely venues on Sunday, 17th August... The Arts House... and yeah in my bermudas as expected when Chandra and Durga were more ... shall i say that they had more clothes on them then myself... Chandra initiated a pseudo short film marathon at a ridiculous price of $5.00. I was there because I had 5 bucks to spare... other than that I hated short films.

When I first viewed them 10 years back, it failed to appeal to me in any bloody way. The short films were too abstract and too "artistic" for my taste. I felt that the filmmakers were desperately fitting into borrowed shoes and assimilating foreign artistry. Something that doesn't go down well with me. Its like an Ah Beng/ Mat/ Mama speaking in European accent. Furthermore the people whom i met, people associated with the Arts field, always were exclusive, as if they were above the common man. This just worsened the distaste i had for short films and the arts scene.


So, I leaned back into my seat, waiting to sleep soundly. But i couldn't. There was something different about the compilation of films. They had matured and over the years had found their own identity and best of all, they had vulgarities ( which makes it real). I was blown away actually. By the second short film, i already had my money's worth and it was only getting better.

There were 16 shortfilms all together. Though all of them had substance and quality, these were my favourites.

My Blue Heaven / Director : Yee Wei Chai
[ A coming of age dark comedy, about a little boy who lives with his abusive father, and how a fateful afternoon of watching his father's porn videotape, turns his life upside down]

Zo Gang / Director : Jacen Tan
[Filmmaker wannabe, Ah Tan, is sick of his day job. He discusses and pokes fun at local film and music , while plotting his path to become Singapore's next great director. A dark comedy about the difficulties of making a film in Singapore] ... this is really damn good.. and hilarious.

I really had a very good time at the short film screening and i am really impressed with how far the scene has come. I applaud the directors and all creative technicians and of course the actors for imbuing so much quality and "heartlanderness" into what once was a borrowed fad. I wish them all further success in their futures and i just want them to know that they have earned one more fan... me.

the small surprises in life..

I've been on a 5 days MC thanks to the extraction of my wisdom teeth. Everyone went like .."wah! 5 days ah, shiok ah!" . Please, there is a reason why i am given 5 days. Because i need that long to recover to a decent level. I had stitches in my gums that were sewed to my inner cheek. That tore everytime i yawned, smiled, coughed, sneezed or even opened my mouth. My diet was severely affected which in turn affected my energy level and aggravated my crankiness and lethargy.

I can't do any vigorous exercise as it makes me hungry and i can't eat any solid food.. let alone open my mouth, so you get the picture.. I have been cooped up for a week inside my home and i have been feeling miserable. Going nuts actually..

Watching TV didn't help either. All i saw was Beijing Olympics... Give me a break.. I am thankful to the friends who dropped by and i am very thankful to the darling manjan for keeping me company through all of my whims.

And i am very thankful to the totally unplanned trip to Mt Fab. Such wonderful company, crazy antics and extreme cuteness made up for a very dull and miserable week. From potentially haunted churches to abandoned mansions... it was a laugh riot spooking the other out. I actually felt sad saying bye to my company. damn... hahaha.

Now with Gods grace i can pack on the pounds that i lost over the week. But i must admit.. i realize that i have taken alot of things for granted.. this time it was the simple everyday food that i so often throw away or leave un-eaten.. There is a lesson to learn in every experience..

ok i am off to watch Man VS Wild 2.. ciaoz.

The devil of necessity

I am not a saint. I never was actually, though I have tried countless times before. I must admit I have mellowed down. Constant pounding of hard choices, ruthless prioritising and heavy expectations on me has affected me. How I think, act and re-act ... all have toned down to a point where I do not see my previous self anymore. Some call this growing up. Some call it maturing.. I say.. whatever... like i have choice like that. Gone were the days where I reacted with force, vulgarities and a clenched fist ( to think of it i can only recall 5 events in school and 2 in NS).

I found myself standing infront of the mirror and telling myself " Look, you are 26, you are a teacher, becarefull how you carry yourself, anything you do can jeopadise yourself and those around you." Reminding myself of unnecessary repurcussions and conditioning myself to turn innert.

But today i realised that there are some things that strike me on a nerve level. Issues that propell me into actions without any thinking at all. I realised that any issue that undermines my family or its name or potentially tarnishes its image and or integrity, cause me to lose my sense of rationality very easily. Chief amongst the Family... is the Mother. Any negative or undermining act/intention / remark against the Family ( and most importantly the Mother) will be met with very strong force even if its at the expense of my name or integrity..and i don't give a flying f*** where i am when i deliver and i really don't give a damn about those who become sushi in the process.

I so thank God that none of my friends had been implicated in such issues.. But just to round my thoughts off.. Any stranger who undermines my family will get it hard. Any friend who undermines my family will get it harder... And if its a family member...good luck...

I am not going to elaborate on what i did today.. i am not proud of it. really. But in retrospect. I will also admit that there is a very small possibility that i might have over-reacted slightly. But none the less the family was undermined.. so i reacted.. Now that i have cooled down, i believe that i owe some apologies... on second thought... i owe only one apology, to the vegetable who got slaughtered for a mutton briyani.

The Team mates.

The Triathlon Team mates. The impossible has happened... Chandra and Waseem agreed. Normally i would keep things low key till i managed to achieve them. But in this case i am announcing it to the world because when a word is given in public, you will be obliged to keep it. I can already see Chandra's enthusiasm to take part...

Faizul, bro, i know that you asked me to join up with you.. but considering that your knee is in shit condition, its best that you rest it out first... Live to die another day ok?

Nisa: I will meet up with you asap once my stitches are out.

Its Done

The wisdom teeth are finally out. Would love to elaborate more on my experiences but i am rather tired of staring at the screen. So in true Raascal tradition.. i leave you all my pictures...